I feel I'm alone now!

I'm home alone today. Quite a nice prospect when I thot of it in the morn, but now, with agloomy weather, the rain pouring, pit-pattering against the roof, I am, hm, thot I'd never say this - LONELY!

I rarely feel lonely...this is mainly because I usually fill the void of being alone by reading. So, when I read, I get kinda absorbed by the characters and events taking place in the stories... or I would watch those bought but no-time-to watch VCDs, or these days, log on to the net....hence, the reason, the times that I really felt alone are somewhat etched in my mind somehow...

The ones I remember most were of course the times I was hospitalized during my pregnancy, or when I was in labour. You know, the times when the nurse went away for a while, or when I awoke in the mid of the night and started missing my kids, mom, and hubby...

Well, there were other times as well, such as when I went for a 'nite out' on the town alone... I can still recall vividly the few people that fateful night in Nov 1986...or the nite I went to watch a movie on my own in Cathay Pudu...well, there are other incidents which I can still remember as if it took place only days or months ago- the reason I/we're able to recall these kinds of events are because of a certain emotional attachment that comes with it - be it happiness, eagerness, panic, but most times, it's due to some sadness or pain...hm, just like the time I went out for a walk in the rain nursing a broken heart...

Well, today, my loneliness is caused by physical absence of my kids, parents, hubby, friends, colleagues, and students.... Just like when people say that someone you love could always feel your loneliness, somehow, the phones rang! First, a dear, beloved friend of mine, Dila called. We often keep in touch through emails n facebook. The moment I put down the hp, the home phone rang - my bro, Aduk called! Gosh, these people must have some telephatic sense! Hm, so, after all, I'm not that lonely after all... there are those who love me n are there to cheer me and love me of course! And I love u in return!


p/s - My darling son just called! Hm, my sibling, friend n son have called... but dear hubby???